Pain In the Gluteus Maximus

Literally. Have you ever tried one of those Stairmaster Stepmill machines? Not the ones with the two small platforms, one for each foot, that you move up and down to simulate going up stairs. Oh no. I mean the really big machine that has actual stairs that rotate through so that you are actually walking up stairs? I’ve seen people on them at my gym many times but it never really occurred to me to try one.

But then one of my clients suggested I use it from time to time in my training for a half marathon because he said it will really help to prep me for those hills. Hmm, makes sense, I thought.

Him: But it’s going to kick your butt.

Me: Really? (A little unfazed).

Him: Yeah, it’s really tough.

Okay, whatever, sounds fun. I flippantly dismissed his comment since he clearly didn’t know what he was talking about. So yesterday I get up on this gargantuan machine and decide to do it on manual. I was all ready for a good, 45-minute workout. Once I hit “start” the machine automatically set itself at 20 minutes.

20 minutes? That’s it? Oh well, I’ll just do one cycle and then start it over again when it finished.

Step, step, step… step, step, step……….step, step, step……………..

Whew! Must be pretty far…(I look at the numbers on the screen)…What? Only 5 minutes? Seriously?! Huh.

Step, step, step… step, step, step……….step, step, step……………..

Wow, a whole 10 minutes have gone by…only 10 minutes. Uh, don’t think I’ll be doing a second 20-minute segment on this.

Step, step, step… step, step, step……….step, step, step……………..

By the time the 20 minutes was up I was dripping with sweat and my toes were repeatedly clipping the step I was trying to put my foot on because I could barely lift my foot high enough to actually clear the step. Guess that guy knew what he was talking about! But you know what? According to the machine I climbed seventy nine flights of stairs! SEVENTY NINE! Holy crap, no wonder it was so hard! (I think that was based on a 10-step flight and some are more like 12 or 14 steps per flight, but whatever, that's still 790 steps!). That made me feel much better.

Plus, I got on the treadmill and did another 2 miles afterwards so when I finished, even though I almost looked like a sweat-drowned rat, I felt I got in a really great workout. Then I hightailed it out of there as fast as possible so I wouldn’t see anyone I know. :)